Today was a day of exceptional mindfulness, serenity, calm, and looking deeply inward. I am learning quite a bit about myself and what is going on inside of my mind and my heart. I have come to terms, to a great extent with many of the feelings that I have been experiencing over the past couple of months. I am letting them flow onward and allowing my peace of mind to return. I think it is having a noticable effect on me.
The folks at work noticed something different about me today, though I don't think they were able to put their finger on it precisely... some commented on my being somehow different, and said that I seemed very calm and happy. I think one or two people were mildly disconcerted by my seemingly changed demeanor, though I don't completely understand why that would be. I think I am nicer than before. I am definitely more peaceful.
It was the first day, in a great while, that I have been able to remain in the present moment for the majority of the day, as opposed to being trapped either in the past or in the future. I felt solid, like a mountain. I am happier, I think, but don't feel a need to communicate that happiness other than by a smile when it seems appropriate. While things are happening all around me, I remain still at the center of things, and, to some degree, untouched by most of it.
I do feel quite different, actually. More awake, more here, more in the moment... I am much more in touch with what is around me, of me, within me.... the sky, the trees, the earth that I am standing on... I feel connected to everything.
It seems that I have been granted much more space by everyone... as though there is a boundary there that others instinctively recognize and respect. Its effortless...
I have been eating much less food, which is good. I have apparently been eating for other reasons than hunger, which is understandable, in hindsight (at times I was eating nothing at all for days at a time... either extreme is unhealthy).
I just enjoy breathing... it has been a very good day so far.
Tonight Elysia and I will have some time to be close, snuggle, and spend some time together.
Which is a good place for me to be off to.....
1 comment:
Although the many waves that are constantly in motion on the ocean appear to be separate entities, are they not all simply part of the great vastness of the ocean??
When the moon is full and illuminating the earth with her light, and the ground is covered with dew, isn't each reflection that is cast in each dew drop, littering the grass like so many sparkling diamonds, complete and whole in and of itself??
(I am at one with my foolishness just now...)
Thanx for the comments, Lethe, it's great to hear from you. It's one thing to read about you guys, and something else to actually hear from you as though you are actual, living, breathing, real-live people!!
Take care of Cassa.... she needs a friend like you probably more than she has ever needed anything, I imagine... okay??
Take Care,
Bear
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