Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Mugwump Woodpecker

This morning, as I was about to get into my vehicle and head to work, I was startled by a series of sounds that caused me to take pause and look around. First, I heard a rapid knocking sound, which was followed by a cacaphony of shrieks, squawks, screeches, and howls! My first thought was something along the lines of, "What the Fuck was that!?!?"

I searched around until I found the source of the noise, which was now in its third iteration, and spied one of these guys....

Woodpecker Posted by Hello

... a Pileated Woodpecker (Dryocopus pileatus) on a chimney two houses down from where I live. Basically, he would try to peck on the bricks, (which was met with varying degrees of success... mostly varying from unsuccessful downwards towards abysmal failure) and would then fluff up his plumage in absolute frustration and begin to squawk and screech in frustration. He would then move to another side of the chimney and try again with similar results. After sampling all four sides of the chimney, he flew to the chimney of the next house and began all over again.

Well... the bricks on this chimney were apparently no softer or any more satisfying than on the first house, because he was becoming absolutely furious (this is something to see... listen to me on this).

As for me... well, I was transfixed... I had never seen anything like this in my life. I basically stood there with my mouth hanging open, looking exceedingly dignified and attractive, I'm sure... and simply watched.

After clattering away on all four sides of the chimney in succession, off he flew to the next house, and so on down the block!

I have to say that I was amazed by this behavior... he bypassed at least 30 trees during the time that I watched him. I mean... what the f u u u c k is that??!!

Don't they teach woodpeckers to tell the difference between chimneys and trees in Woodpecker school or whatever?? I mean... it seems somewhat important to know what the hell a tree is if you are a woodpecker... at least it seems like a relatively important point to me!

I concede that a chimney is somewhat simlar to a tree... of course, most trees have a few sticky out bits and such... and I would think that one could tell right from the start that bricks feel somewhat different to one's beak than wood does.

Okay.. LOOK!

If you happen to be a woodpecker, you need to know the difference. So, I have decided to lend a hand. Now pay attention.

This is a CHIMNEY...

A Chimney (NOT a Tree) Posted by Hello

and THIS is a chimney...

Also a Chimney (... and therefore, also not a Tree!) Posted by Hello

Now this is the important part... This is a T-R-E-E. A TREE!   (Remember!?!)

Aha! A Tree!! Posted by Hello

Trees put the WOOD in WOODpecker. Ever heard of a BRICKpecker??

What is this world coming to?!?!  (Snort!)

1 comment:

Elysia said...

Oh, but I know what a brick pecker feels like!!!


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