...As a Bee!

Some of my readers must think that I've dropped off of the face of the earth. A lot has been going on, and I have been busy as hell!!

We primed and painted the apartment that Elysia rents out, I installed new locksets/doorknobs on every door in the place, we had carpets installed, scrubbed and cleaned the place from stem to stern, ripped out the kitchen floor and installed a new one, scrubbed and revamped the appliances, and today I ripped out the toilet and the sink/vanity from the bathroom, installed a new floor, re-installed the toilet, installed a new vanity, faucet, and drain, and caulked everything. At the end of it all, I was a sweating, stinking mess... (This time, I managed to get everything done.. I have spent a lot of time learning, and preparing to do it all right this time... in my last post, I was frustrated and miserable because nothing would fit, everything was coming up shit, and I wanted to hurl myself off of a bridge.. Today I hit paydirt, and managed to get the lion's share of the big jobs that remained happily, blessedly, and completely DONE! Yay!!)

I worked from around 6:45AM until noon, when I scooted out of there and headed home for the carpet installers.. The Fly flipped out on me and cursed me out, even though The Nose, (who is The Fly's boss) had previously okay'd my leaving early. He was just pissed off at me because earlier, the psychotic cat, Mama (there are two: Gizzy and Mama - Gizzy is a sweetheart, and Mama is insane and vicious) got out and into our main office area... I picked her up (this is dangerous, folks..) and was carrying her back to the area of the building where the cats live, when The Fly, in his infinite wisdom picked up a broom stick and pounded it on the floor... (!!??!!) I felt Mama go completely tense and stiff in my hands... she was scared shitless and ready to flip out, and I would have probably gotten hurt in the process. I asked The Fly, in my not-too-polite-but-very-aggressive tone of voice, "What THE FUCK is wrong with you?!! Are you fucking insane??"

He laughed, and did it again, and she began to wriggle in my hands, digging her claws into my flesh in preparation to explode out of my grasp in terror.

I said, in my bordering-on-homicidal tone of voice, "If this fucking cat flips out, I am going to throw her in your fucking face and knock you out cold before you have a chance to react!!" That pretty much turned his knees to water and he left off of that shit immediately. I meant it. He knew it. And, he didn't like it one bit. He has some major power issues, you see... and didn't like feeling intimidated. I don't generally like to intimidate anyone, but considering the circumstances, and his asinine behavior, I suppose it's just tough shit. I felt like kicking a mud puddle up his ass and stomping it dry because he was acting like such a fucking jackass!

While I was working in the apartment, I realized that we had the wrong faucet for the connections that we had, so I headed to H*m* D*p*t to pick up another one... the correct one...

As I was driving through the parking lot on my way back, a large woman was loading stuff into the trunk of her vehicle. She bent over to pick something up, and both of her boobs flopped completely (completely) out of her top. Completely!

I happened to be looking right at her when this took place... from about twenty feet away, and getting closer at about ten miles per hour.

Her boobs were... well.... massive. They were exponentially larger than my head, which is freakishly large as it is!!

Two. Huge. White. Shapeless. Heavy. Floppy. Fish-belly-white. Cottage-cheese-lookin' Boobs.

Yikes.

She looked up, panicky, to see if anyone had observed what had happened, and of course I had to be right there. Naturally... welcome to Bear's world...

She was embarassed. I was embarassed. She began struggling with her two huge fun-bags... trying to wrestle them back into her top, while I tried valiantly, but ultimately unsuccessfully to appear as though I hadn't seen a thing.

Perhaps it was the look of abject horror and revulsion on my face that gave me away...

I kept right on driving. I am wondering if H*m* D*p*t will pay for me to attend counselling... mental anguish and all that...

My eyes are still bleeding...

I wonder what tommorrow will bring??