Ah-Po!

Ah-Po! ("Ouch!" or "It hurts!" in the Korean Language)

During my first tour in Korea, I was an enlisted man in the United States Air Force at the time and assigned to the 6903rd Electronic Security Squadron which was known locally as 'Skivvy Nine'. A member of Skivvy-Nine was known, predictably, as a 'Skivvy-Niner'. The unit was made up of Korean Linguists, Intelligence Analysts, Morse Code Intercept Operators, Printer System Intercept Operators, Cryptologic Specialists, and a number of other technicians and admin specialists.

The unit was fairly tight-knit, and we would often go out en masse on what were called 'Bucket Runs' or 'Bean Runs'.

Bucket Runs because we had one member of the unit, dressed in a red and yellow track suit and wearing a hard had with a battery powered revolving red emergency light mounted on top, who carried a large bucket in which the drink of choice (known variously as 'Jungle Juice' 'Bug Juice' 'Purple Jesus' or 'Electric Koolade' which contained, among other things, Vodka, Rum, Gin, Tequila, Lime Juice, Triple Sec, Slo-Gin, Amaretto, Southern Comfort, Jack Daniels, Peach Schnapps, Melon Liqueur, Sour Mix, Grape Oscar (Oscar is a Korean made champagne), Peach Oscar, Soju (A clear grain alcohol), Orange Juice, Cranberry Juice, and Seven-Up (for the non-drinkers)).

The Bucket Runner in Charge would carry this huge stainless steel bucket in one hand, and a large ladle in the other, and would lead the group, light flashing, while banging on the bucket with the ladle, from club to club (There was a rigorously enforced schedule, as there was a 'goal' of sorts - meaning that we intended to 'hit' a predetermined number of clubs during the run. The schedule was published and posted, and any member of the unit could join up with the bucket run at any time. We would enter the club, everyone would plop money down into the communal kitty, and the requisite alcohol would be purchased and mixed into Jungle Juice, which would be ladled into glasses around the table, directly from the bucket. The requisite toasts and roasts would be made (new folks were known as 'green beans' older, outgoing hands were termed 'brown beans', hence the term 'Bean Run', which was also called a 'Hail and Farewell' - essentially, every month there was a bucket run to welcome Green Beans and say farewell to Brown Beans. There were jokes, awards, fake-awards, photo albums that had been compiled for the outgoing folk, and light hazing and put-ons for the new folk.

Generally speaking, a good time was had by all, and a good number got stinking, falling down, puking drunk. This was one of the hazards of a Bucket Run. Once the time limit was reached, the Bucket Runner in Charge would turn on his light, ladle out the last remnants of bucket juice, which would be downed on command, and the bucket would be passed between the green beans and the brown beans to drain amongst them. Once this was accomplished, the entire group would follow the leader to the next club, to the accompaniment of drunken songs, catcalls, and the claning of the bucket. I'm not sure what the Korean people thought of this, but most seemed to take our craziness in stride with the usual Korean good-natured acceptance of such things.

One of the new lads, who we had dubbed 'Sonar' became rather well acquainted with a young Korean gal and about three-quarters of the way through the run, the two excused themselves and left. In Skivvy-Nine parlance, Sonar had been 'Captured'.

The next day as we waited in the Skivvy-Nine Lounge and Rec Room for the shuttle bus that took the oncoming crew up to the top of Hill 170, where our operations compound was located, some of the guys began asking Sonar how his night went with his new lady friend. One of a group of Korean linguists began;

Skivvy-Niner: "Hey, Sonar.. so, how'd it go with your girlfriend??"

Sonar: "Okay..."

Skivvy-Niner: "Did you have a nice time?"

Sonar: "Yeah.. she was nice!"

Skivvy-Niner: "Did she teach you any Korean?" (Sonar was an analyst, and knew no Korean when he arrived...)

Sonar: "A few words..."

Skivvy-Niner: "What words did you learn??"

Sonar: "Well... I only remember the one..."

Skivvy-Niner: "Really?? What was it??"

Sonar: "Umm.... 'Ah-Po!' or something like that..."

Skivvy-Niner: "She taught you 'Ah-Po!', huh? Do you know what it means?"

Sonar: "Uh-huh.."

Skivvy-Niner: "Well.. What does it mean??"

Sonar: " 'Wrong Hole!' "

I they had to have been able to hear the laughter as far away as Tokyo....