Sunday, April 13, 2008

Sunday Morning Thoughts...

I woke up this morning to bright sunshine streaming in through the windows.. the air is unbelievably clear this morning!! Everywhere I look, there are signs of spring, and new life...

This, (naturally, I suppose..) caused me to turn my thoughts to my own new life... well, my new *working* life, anyway; I start my new job tomorrow!

This is all new to me, which is exciting, to some degree...but a little bit stressful (which is probably good.. it lets me know that I am approaching the situation with due seriousness.. or something). I have come to realize, in this month of searching for work, how much times have changed while I was not paying attention. Also, I have come to realize that I have reached an age where my age becomes a wee bit of an issue to some folks... (this struck me as a somewhat unpleasant and un-looked-for surprise!) - the bottom line here folks, is that I can't just waltz into a job so easily... people aren't prepared to hire me simply because I am *me*. I cannot necessarily count on finding a decent job very quickly if I happen to find myself suddenly unemployed... and this situation is unlikely to improve with time.. at least under my present circumstances.

So... to put it lightly, it is a sobering thought.

Accordingly, I am not walking into my new job with a cavalier attitude, at all!! I am taking it quite seriously, and it is my stated intention to remain diligent, to work hard, and to find that balance between pleasing the boss, and not pissing off my co-workers... (not such an easy balance to achieve, I think.. but hopefully, still possible..).

I am very much hoping that I am not walking into yet another situation that appears, on first glance, to be a great job, but which, once the shine wears off, is simply another slog job that is fairly miserable and which will get me absolutely nowhere.. no matter *how* hard I work... or, a job where I am forced to deal with at least one person who has such a hideous control issue that it renders them nearly insufferable.
Rather, I am hoping against all odds that I have finally found a job where the drama is minimal, where I am given the tools, knowledge, and information necessary to excel if I am willing to put forth the effort to do so... and, if I *do* excel, it is recognized, without fanfare, and rewarded appropriately.

Lastly, I am hoping that the crew with whom I will be working will be happy to have me as an addition to the team.. as a welcome and appreciated member... and that they will not resent me, sight unseen, for some unfathomable and indecipherable reason or reasons as has happened at previous jobs... (I don't understand this penchant at all... it seems that so long as someone is willing to do their work and contribute to the group effort, that they would be welcomed at least as a fellow worker.. if not as a friend or social acquaintance... I can appreciate a co-workers efforts, even if that person is not someone with whom I would not generally choose to associate outside of the workplace... its confusing!! Anyway... I suppose I am reacting to this confusion by hoping that I will no longer be confronted with it...)
(Brief Explanation: in my previous job, my co-worker was extremely unpleasant towards me. I was told by other workers that this person reacted negatively to the very concept that an additional position was being created, so, essentially, the prejudicial view was not directed at me personally, but to the position that I would occupy... so, how do you deal with *that*??! Answer: I have no f*cking idea... you suffer, basically... it sucks. Period. -- this is why I am fervently hoping that this situation will not be present in my new job. I have dealt with it for longer than I ever would have hoped to in my lifetime.)

I expect to be starting at the bottom rung of the ladder, and I am cool with that... I don't mind paying my dues... actually, I prefer it, particularly if every other member of the crew had to do so... in this way, I remain on an equal footing with everyone else and avoid the resentment that would otherwise be generated. Also, by working hard and by dealing with the challenging bits without complaint, I am afforded a chance to show my mettle, and to earn some measure of respect. This was how it worked in an infantry squad, and I am fairly sure that this translates very well to any group of workers; New Guy gets the crap jobs... and is watched and evaluated under those circumstances... if he does well, he is moved on to bigger and better things... The good side of the crap jobs is that they are generally fairly cut and dried; you don't have to go crazy trying to figure out what it is that you have to do... clean up the stuff, carry the heavy shit.. etc. -- So long as you don't mind busting your ass, you can find a measure of peace in the work. This is a *good* thing!

At any rate, I have all of today to relax, to collect my thoughts, and to enjoy simply *being*. Tomorrow I start my new job, and I can look forward to learning a great deal, and, hopefully, to a whole bunch of new challenges.

Bring it on!

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