What is My Worth??

After returning home from work yesterday, I received pages from two of my co-workers, asking how I was doing. One was from the Old Man, and the other from the Lad who I knocked across the room a few weeks ago (See Boundaries) They were both concerned, ribbed me about having to come home, but mostly just wanted to know that I was okay. I thought it was pretty cool. On one of the phone calls, The Nose wanted to speak to me. When he came on the line, the first thing he said was, "What's going on?" in a tone of voice that I translated to mean, "Will you be back to work first thing tommorrow morning??". I didn't much like it, so I decided to understand what he said to mean, "What's new?" (In the general sense..), and replied, "Not too much, what's up with you?", in my most innocent and sweetest of voices.

As I knew it would, this caused him to get hung up (it doesn't take much, folks..), and he spluttered for a few seconds before regrouping and getting right to the matter (Good old reliable Nose! - Dickwad!)

Nose: "Will you be back at work tommorrow?"

Bear: "I'm not sure.. I guess I'll have to see how it looks tommorrow.. If I can make it in without fucking my knee up any worse than it is, I'll be in, Nose." (Understand something here, folks; I am not making this injury up to get a day off from work. The knee is fucked up. I am extremely worried that it is going to be an issue.. so I am much more inclined to baby it than if it were a different sort of injury. If I wanted a day off, I would simply tell them I needed the day off, and either get it or not... I tend to avoid lying to their faces... I don't like being lied to, and I assume nobody else does, either... so, what's good for the goose..)

Nose: "So, what are you going to do??!! (I detect elevated stress levels creeping in to his voice patterns... bordering on panic. What's this about?? I am not all that valuable of an employee... I am basically the scullery wench and second assistant to the Peon's helper. I think it's most likely a control issue... Nose likes to have the upper hand, it makes him feel big. Most people don't feel as though they have the upper hand with me, even when they do, because I don't give much away on the outside...) He continued, "Are you just going to let it run its course?! You're going to have to go to a Doctor! How long is this going to go on!? When will you be back here at work?! Will this go on for weeks?!!?! (Voice level has officially reached Soprano at this point.. what a puss.)

Bear: (five second pause), then, "Nose.. My knee is the size of a cantaloupe. I can barely stand on it. My priority has to be my health. I cannot afford to run to a doctor... basically, I'm on my own. I will treat it, and if it doesn't improve in a day or two, I will have to reassess my situation. I'll stay in touch with you and keep you updated. Is there anything else?"

Nose: "I could advance you the pay to go to a doctor, so that you could get back in here sooner." (.... so we're back on this shit again... <SNORT!>...)
Bear: "Look! The knee is injured. I showed it to you. You saw it with your own eyes. Do you honestly think I have some way of causing my knee to swell up like a balloon just to trick you into letting me take a day off?? Be real! I'm going to stay off the knee.. keep it elevated... and Ice the shit out of it. It will either improve, or it won't. If it improves, I'll be back in there. If it doesn't I will have to re-examine my options. I don't know what else to tell you...."

Nose: (In a pissy voice)... alright.

Bear: Later. (Go fuck yourself!)


I cannot even verbalize how much I fucking HATE having my integrity questioned by this slimy, snivelling, invertebrate little moral coward... AARRRGH!!!

The fucking asspad never even asked me if I was okay, or told me to feel better!! In his world, everything is about his comfort and convenience. I would love to see him face some actual difficulties one time, just to see how he measures up. He is always talking about what a man he is, and I know for a fact that he couldn't ever hope to measure up to a number of women that I know, or know of, who are exponentially stronger than he will ever hope to be. If he ever had to face what Marcheline, Kathy, Cassa, my Mom, or countless other women that I know have gone through, he would curl up into a fetal position, put his thumb in his mouth, and sob like a little pansy ass... and, true to his nature, like most folks who have never faced anything more difficult than not being able to go out and play, or having to actually help somebody out once in a while, he has absolutely no empathy for others whatsoever... everybody else in all of the world is there to make his life more cozy and convenient for him. Fuckstick!! He has just about bottomed out on my 'RESPECT-O-METER'.

This, of course, has an immediate and visible effect on my Scottish Obstinacy, and now I'm not going in to work tommorrow even if it happens to be the only fucking place on God's green earth where the antidote to the deadly shellfish toxin that I inadvertently ingested is located! Fuck him! I'm staying right here. That shit goes right up my ass!


When I woke up this morning, I got out of bed and tested the knee out. The swelling has gone down, but it hurts a little more than it did. And, of most concern to me, it still feels strange and tight and weird to me. I called in to work, and The Fly answered. (The Nose never gets in to work until the crack of noon.. even though he is supposed to work the same schedule as the rest of us. Be five minutes late though, and he will flame your ass bald... he can be a real hypocritical asshole, I swear to god...)

The Fly: "Hello, [COMPANY NAME].."

Bear: "Hey, Fly.. It's Bear"

The Fly: "Don't even fucking start!"

Bear: (Shut the fuck up, you little bastard.. don't YOU friggin' start!)"I'm taking a sick day."

The Fly: "YOU TOOK A FUCKIN' SICK DAY YESTERDAY!"

Bear: "... And I'm takin' one today!"

The Fly: "You're killin' me.. are you really gonna milk this bullshit and sit fuckin' home? What's wrong with the knee? Did you go to a doctor?"

Bear: "Fly.. It's still kind of swollen, I can just barely stand on it, and I don't think its a good idea to be standing on it for ten hours and carrying heavy shit around all day and climbing up and down stairs on it.. I'm staying home, I'm staying off the knee, I plan on keeping it elevated, taking Motrin, and icing the shit out of it. That's my plan, and I'm sticking to it."

The Fly: "How long is this FUCKING BULLSHIT going to go on for?!?!"

Bear: (Why don't you sniff my butthole??) "Well, I guess I'm going to have to see how it goes. If it doesn't improve within a day or two, I will have to start making some phone calls and go see a doctor. Either way, though, you're not going to see me in there today.. are we done?"

The Fly: "Goodbye [CLICK!]"


Wow... I'm really feeling the love there, too. Frankly, I don't give a flying fuck whether they are happy with me, or not. If I was milking a bullshit injury, or otherwise fucking around, I would be concerned. Hopefully the knee will heal up, and I'll be back there bright and early Monday morning. I guess I have learned just how much they care about my wellbeing.

Having been a combat leader, and having served in leadership capacities for most of my adult life, I have to say that my opinion of their leadership skills is absolutely abysmal at this point. I am fucking appalled!

Neither one of these twats could lead a pack of ravenous wolves to a fucking pile of fresh meat. Jesus Holy Screaming Roosevelt Jumping Christ! What a pair of inept fucking weasel-turds!

Leadership is a learned skill! Nobody is a born leader.. that's crap!! You have to learn how to deal with people, how to show and thereby earn respect, how to care for the folks that are placed under your care and leadership, and how to motivate them, get them to submit to your will when necessary, and how to get the very best out of your resources, be they personnel, material, time, or circumstances. But first of all, you have to give a shit enough to recognize that a problem exists.

I suppose when you are a 'Legend in your own behind' your shit smells too sweet to you to realize that you ain't all that you think you're cracked up to be.

Well... it isn't my place in the grand scheme of things to teach these guys how to be better leaders. What I do know, from experience, is that in any organization there are official leaders, - those appointed to a leadership position, and de facto leaders, - those who everyone looks to for leadership and guidance.

What I also know is that it is a fatal mistake to piss off the de facto leaders in your organization, because they can make life exceedingly difficult if they so desire.

Of course, the curse of being a leadership-minded person is that you take the good of the group over the good of the one to mind, and that sort of petty bullshit is counterproductive, unprofessional, and asinine.

... But, sometimes I wish....

How can you be a boss, and not give the slightest fuck about the people who work for you?? How can this be?? At what point do you lose your humanity??

Granted, people will take advantage. They will! Its human nature. And when you are running a business, you have to demand that folks will do what they are required to do, or you have to make the difficult decisions and either reprimand them or send them down the road. It is also possible, however, to set high standards, demand accountability, and still care for your charges. I have done this year in and year out with very few problems. It isn't rocket science.

For example:

Employee: "Boss, I hurt my knee.."

Supervisor Bear: "What happened?" (Start to gather information: What?, Where?, When?, How?, Who? -- Determine if a problem actually exists, and identify the problem.. this is always the first step in solving a problem)

Employee: "I'm not sure.. I think I might have twisted it, or something. It started to hurt about an hour ago, and now it's all swollen and I am having a hard time standing on it."

Supervisor Bear: "Do you think you need to go home and get off of the knee? Or do you think a rest will help it?"

Employee: "I'm not sure.. I don't want to go home and stick you like this.. I don't want to leave you short-handed."

Supervisor Bear: "Don't worry about leaving us short-handed. The first priority is taking care of your health. You are no good to me here if you are injured. Listen, go on home, get off the leg, and see how you make out. Call me either by the end of the business day, or tommorrow morning. If you need to go see a doctor, do that and let me know what he said. Can you drive? Do you need me to get someone to take you home? Can I call anybody for you, or is there anything else that you need??"

Employee: "No, boss.. I can make it home alright, thanx. Sorry about this."

Supervisor Bear: "Don't worry about it, things happen. Listen, if you injured yourself here at work, I will need to get some information from you to fill out an accident report. Once you get home and get situated, think about what you did and how it may have happened, okay? The sooner we do the accident report, the better, I will start one now, just to cover your ass, and if it turns out that you didn't get injured here, I'll toss it.. good enough??"

Employee: "Yeah, boss.. thanks."


Phone Call Next Day:

Supervisor Bear: "How are you doing? How's the knee?"

Employee: "Its better. I'll be back to work tommorrow."

Supervisor Bear: "Great, see ya then. Take Care."


Problem Solved. Or, if the call went differently;


Supervisor Bear: "How are you doing? How's the knee?"

Employee: "Its still swollen. I think I'll need a few days off."

Supervisor Bear: "Take what you need in order to get better. Your health comes first. Do you have any idea at this point how many days you may need, so that I can make whatever arrangements I need to make on this end?"

Employee: "Um... I'm not sure, maybe two or three?"

Supervisor Bear: "Okay. Good enough. Listen, this sounds like it may be more serious than we thought. Before you come back to work, I'm going to need you to make an appointment to see a doctor, and let him (or her) examine you. I will also need you to bring a note back with you from the doctor saying that you are cleared to return to work, and outlining exactly what you can and cannot do, physically, okay? This way we can be sure that you aren't going to make the injury any worse. Plus, it will cover you, and cover me and the company as well, okay? Do you need anything?"

Employee: "Ah... No, I guess everything's okay. If I come in tommorrow, do I have to bring a doctor's note?"

Supervisor Bear: "Well, see how it goes. If you feel up to coming in, come on in and we'll see how you're doing. If you need to leave and go to the doctor, I'll cut you loose. If you simply strained something, a couple days of rest should help, but if you have a serious injury, it isn't going to get better on its own, so you will have to see the doc and do whatever he says is best, okay?"

Employee: "Yeah, sure. Thanks, boss. Hopefully, I'll see you tommorrow, then."

Supervisor Bear: "Good enough. See you then. Get better."

Employee: "Okay.. thanks. Bye."

Supervisor Bear: "Take care."


Was this so difficult?? I managed to hold the employee accountable without either pressing him or her to exacerbate the injury, and at the same time was able to let that individual know that they are the most important consideration, and that I am willing to work with them until the situation is resolved, provided that they keep me in the loop, and simply act honestly and responsibly. I have done my best to avoid the appearance of having made any value judgements, and I have not in any way questioned the employees integrity or otherwise attacked them. I have simply set a standard, and gently reminded them that they are expected to adhere to that standard to the very best of their ability. The standard is the same for everybody - me included, and they know that. What I believe is inconsequential. It isn't about what I think or believe. They have said that they need time off to tend to an injury. Period. There is a way to go about handling this type of situation, and, of course, there is a certain amount of discretion that a supervisor will have in how they go about handling it. If it is suspected that the employee is not trustworthy, the problem is of much greater magnitude than a couple of free days off and needs to be examined. One thing is certain, if you question an honest employee's honesty and integrity unneccessarily, you won't have an honest employee for very long.

This is what I expect from my supervisors and leaders. And this is what I would expect from my subordinates. I don't think it is either too much to ask, or too much to give.


</END RANT AND RAVE>