Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd:

Occasionally, I get puked upon by a friend or relative who has gotten their feelings stung by my failure to read, view and provide suitable feedback for a forwarded email message that they have sent to me. It usually goes like this;

"What'd ya think of that thing I sent ya?? Cute, wasn't it?!"

"I deleted it... sorry.."

"... ... You.. DELETED it!?"

"Yeah.. I don't really read 'forwards'... I just delete them."

At which point it is made clear to me either verbally, nonverbally, or by subsequent interaction with that person (or, more to the point, non-interaction with that person) that they don't agree with, support, or tolerate my position.

I must confess, however, that it is true. I don't read forwards. There are a few reasons for this, and some may even be valid. They happen to be valid reasons to me, though... and I don't read forwards.

Basically, if you forward something to me other than a link, a message from another person known to me, or something that pertains specifically to me personally, and this is made abundantly clear by the subject line or by the sender(meaning that it comes from a sender who generally doesn't send forwards as a general rule), I glance at the subject... and delete it.

The simplest reason is that I don't care what it is in a forwarded message. I'm not interested. I don't like them. They take up valuable bandwidth.

Usually, they are some stupid joke or chain letter that has been circulating around for 15 years. It wasn't cute or funny when it came around the first time... it isn't funny today.

Bill Gates is NOT going to send me any money.
My forwarding a chain letter isn't going to save the little girl that has been dying of the same ailment since 1989.

My feeling is that if someone wants to communicate with me, they can type out an email message addressed to ME, intended for ME, and not to 900 strangers, with me stuck on for good measure.

In an effort to make this easier, I am providing a sample message that can easily be cut and pasted into your email client if you wish to say 'hi'.

Select all text between the lines

Hi Bear,

Just wanted to say hi. hi.

Well. Guess that's all for now.


Regards, [BLANK] (insert name)

Type name in the space labeled 'BLANK'


Now nobody has a good reason to send me forwards.

I am not going to open them in any case. They get summarily deleted.

If you have a video, images, poems, heart-wrenching sob stories, or evangelical tracts that you wish me to read, write me a message, and paste a link to a page where I can view the material if and when I choose.

I am sure that I will still get crapped on for not opening forwards, and if anyone has heartburn with that, please write it all down, and forward it to me in an email.


Marcheline said...

Please forward this blog post to as many friends as you can within the next five minutes and Uthark the God of Lotto will make you a winner.

LuzdelaLuna said...

The one I find funny is the one that is thick with sentimental crap and say to send them to as many friends as you can. When it finally comes back to you, you can see how many friends you have. That's what I want...a tally of how many dumb-as* fiends I have.

Bear said...

Exactly! I just can't bring myself to pass these things on... so I guess I am the quintessential 'forwarded message' pill, wet-blanket, stick-in-the-mud & party pooper...

They are empty, mindless fluff from my point of view... I would *so* rather get a short note intended to be from the sender to me, saying 'hey' or whatever they wish to say...

How much of a lemming to I have to be to join in and send this crap along, I wonder??!

Anonymous said...

I do the same.

Sometimes, if it's really stupid and I've told this person to not send me FWD messages, I will reply to everyone pointing out why I don't like and to please stop.

I've only had to do that to a couple people.

Anonymous said...

I've been told that some forward messages are actually sent out to gather e-mail addresses to create a mailing list for a virus/worm/yuk-du-jour "blast". I sent out a warning of this to my co-workers, and still received the forwards.
I especially resent the ones that pronounce a curse on the recipient that doesn't comply (and possibly infect everyone in one's address book, hello). They do get a prompt reply, with my diatribe on refusing to be manipulated. Poopers, unite!