Some time ago, I requested that my teacher give me full ordination as a monk (I am currently a Sramenara ((also known as Samenara)) which is a novice monk.)
He told me that he would give it thought, and, after some period of time, met with me to discuss the issue, and decided to put the matter off for some months while he mulled it over and while he also paid close attention to my practice, analyzed my reasons for seeking such ordination, observed my general demeanor and level of understanding, etc., etc. All of the things that a Zen Priest and Teacher is supposed to do when confronted with such a request.
This past week, he sat down with me and advised me that he is willing to ordain me, once I have completed the requisite residency training. (I completed my residency training in a different order, but this doesn't translate or transfer directly over... I more or less had to start over, but the pace has been somewhat accelerated. )
Although I was eager to attend the training, even though it is quite difficult, I was confronted with a problem; I don't live in Asia any longer... and in this country there is no infrastructure whereby the monastic community receives material support from the laity. I have to work in order to support myself.
I was concerned that this may be a huge (read: 'insurmountable') obstacle in my path. But, a good Zen Cook takes what ingredients he has, and makes the best meal possible (as I have said in a previous post..).. and I went to my boss and asked if I could have the time off. After the screaming and yelling ended, I was more or less convinced that any possibility of getting time off from work was more or less non-existent.
When I relayed this to my teacher (perhaps hoping secretly that he would offer some other way for me to meet the prerequisites... um.. no dice! You gotta walk the walk.. and that's pretty much that... which, all things considered, is part of what makes it all worthwhile to me.), he nodded sagely, made an odd smile, and said, very quietly, "Keep trying."
So, I went home, sat down, and wrote a letter to my supervisor, the general manager, also addressing the letter to the office manager and to the president of the company.
I explained my reason for requesting the time off, what the training would consist of, who, what, where, why, and how... everything that I could think of that would help them to understand precisely what it was that I would be doing....
I wanted to make it clear that this wasn't a pretext to take a couple of days off... this won't be the easiest way to pass the time; quite the opposite, actually...
I explained in the letter that the person who would be presiding over the training may very well likely not be around to offer such training again; he is 100 years old, and it wouldn't be unreasonable to think that he may not be around for very much longer. Each day that he remains with us is a blessing, and a miracle.
I made it a point to simply leave the letter on my boss's chair, and to not pressure him in any way. I made no reference to it whatsoever.
I went into his office to confer with him on a project that I am working on, and he said to me, "Tell the office manager which days you will be taking off.."
Pleasantly surprised, I said, "Thank you!"
"How could I refuse this?? What? I'm gonna say 'no!' to this?? - Just go tell him what days you will need. We'll miss you while you are gone."
And that was that!
The next obstacle is a financial one... I am working on it, and waiting to hear what the results will be. If this problem is solved, I will be able to take the next step in my journey from warrior to priest.
It seems as though the way is being smoothed out for me by unseen forces... perhaps it is just the way things work out.. In any case, I have managed to come a lot further than I could have hoped.
When and if I am able to find out what the schedule will be like, providing I am able to obtain a syllabus, I will post it here... If not, I will post a fairly close approximation in order to give you an idea of what this type of training consists of...
Who knows? Within the next couple of years, I very well may be posting about my impending ordination!
I know that the road will become more and more difficult as I move along it... My teacher will expect me to take more and more responsibilities in the running of the center, and in doing the things that are expected of a fully ordained monk. He will test my understanding, my resolve, my patience, my endurance and stamina, and my resourcefulness.... and if he is convinced that my vocation is sincere, he will set a date for the ceremony.
If he has done his job properly, and if I have done mine, it will be much like my wedding in the sense that it will simply be a public declaration of something that is already present... something that is as much a part of me as my heart. Something from which I cannot be separated... much as the river cannot be separated from the ocean once it has flowed into it...
Now I must begin to prepare myself for the upcoming ordeal. I will have to work harder, solidify my practice, and learn not to cling to comforts. They will be in short supply for the duration....
But, this is what it means to be a monk!
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