Got a Second?

My bones chill and my skin crawls at hearing these simple words; "Got a Second?"

Why?

Because, in my experience, they are generally followed by some comment, information, or news that either:

1. Entirely craps-up my day.


2. Generally pisses me off.


3. Is designed to make me feel unworthy of living and breathing.


4. Communicates to me that I am in trouble, fired, or no longer involved in a personal relationship... or, that I either owe money I didn't expect to owe, or will not be receiveing money that I am expecting to recieve.


5. Utterly cramps my style and screws up my plans.


6. Changes my life and/or lifestyle in a deleterious manner.


7. Indicates that the agreement that we have previously arrived at is now null and void, and that there isn't a damned thing I can do about it.

Today, after hearing the dreaded "Got a second?", I was told that it was no longer financially feasible to continue to fill my position. So, as of that moment, I was out of a job. As a consolation prize, they agreed to pay for half of the day tomorrow, and in return I don't have to get up, get dressed, and go in to the office.

Yay. Wow.

I have tried to convey to various individuals over the years that in fact I DO NOT have a second... but, alas, this has not helped my case a bit. They always barge on ahead with their crappy news... and, as it turns out, I have a second, whether I want to or not.

Being asked if I 'Have a second?' is nearly as bad as being told that somebody has put something that is vitally important 'in a safe place'.

Back to the drawing board, I suppose....

Next time somebody asks me if I 'have a second' they very well may just get knocked out.