The Lovers...

For as long as we have lived here at Thistlebright, there have been a pair of trees on the property that I have come to love dearly... One, an old Mulberry tree, was twisted and gnarled and leaning.... and beautiful. It had at least three differently shaped types of leaves on the one tree... and it was the tree where our bird feeder hung for these past years... growing from practically the same spot was a maple... a little straighter... not quite as tall... upon which we hung the very first set of wind chimes that we bought for the property as a wedding anniversary gift to ourselves...

The two trees were so close that they appeared to be hugging one another... and we came to think of them and to refer to them as "The Lovers" (in a sort of "Tristan and Isolde" sort of way, I suppose...). Their canopy provided an area of cool dark shade on the hottest and sunniest of days in our 'circle garden', where we would often sit, and watch, and contemplate,.. and just be....

Over the past months, it became apparent that the old mulberry and the maple were in trouble; the mulberry began to split open here and there... both on the trunk, and on some of the branches.. which had begun to sag and weep sap.. apparently, this affected the maple, which began to grow thin and straggly.

We brought in a tree expert who told us that we should either have the trees removed, or that they were likely to come down in the next storm and cause damage or injury.

On Thursday, the tree folks came and took those trees away with them. It looks bleak and forlorn without them... the light is all wrong.. even when you are inside the cottage. The place looks strange, and cold, and sad...

I cried. I am crying right now... almost. At any rate, I have an empty, lumpy feeling in my chest and in my throat.

Yesterday, when I came home from work... I stood in the upstairs window for perhaps an hour, and simply looked out at the now barren spot where The Lovers had stood so silently and patiently for all these years...

I am finding it difficult to adjust to how different everything looks now, without them... I suppose because I have grown so accustomed to them being there...the garden looks somehow wrong without them... I almost find myself avoiding going back there, or looking, or thinking about it... but, as it is with such things, it sneaks up on me when I don't expect it to.. you can't really avoid what is... it just is...

Because we were so thrown off our keels over the loss of these trees... neither of us thought to take the chimes down that had hung there all this time... and they apparently went with the maple...

Intellectually, I know that we did what was right, and that it would have been negligent to leave things as they were. I wish that we had had a huge field where the trees could have simply stood while nature took its course, and they could have fallen without harming anything...

Now there is just an empty spot in the yard where The Lovers used to stand...

.. and an empty spot in my heart, as well.

You see... Those trees were my friends, and I loved them.

I will miss them terribly, but, I suppose as in all things, I will simply have to adjust to the change, and adapt to the circumstances.

I think, though... that someplace in the dark, secret reaches of my heart, The Lovers will always stand, quietly, and patiently..., reaching their arcing branches up towards the sky as they always have... Branches upon which I can tie my prayers, so that they can be carried up to the heavens.... while I remain... to dream of my beautiful trees....