Position Wanted

P/T Evenings (avail M/T/F from 3:45PM till 9:45PM) - Pref Patchogue NY area, or close commute (Sayville / Medford / Holbrook / Bohemia). Telecommuting is welcomed!

Hard working, detail oriented, go-getter. Administrative/computer skills, excellent verbal and written abilities, experienced A/R, A/P, payroll, writing, editing, document preparation. spreadsheets, presentations, access databases created quickly and accurately. Uncanny analytical skills. Familiar w/ internet, skilled researcher and investigator. Able to write, edit, proofread. Notable teaching and training abilities. Proven leader and team builder, w/ above par organizational skills.

Graphic artist, manual laborer, file clerk, all around craftsman/handyman, research assistant, yard worker. Speaks english, korean, gaeilge. Multi-faceted quick learner can assimilate and excel in any task that is presented. Fully able to produce professional references to back this claim!!

Also: capable cook, seamster, bartender, and bouncer. Plays bagpipes, teaches martial arts, and brews mead. Trained to parachute from aircraft, SCUBA dive, and rappel from helicopters.

Do you have an office you want managed in the evenings? A crew that needs skilled leadership? Parties that require a bartender? I'm your man! Customer service is my specialty!!

Closets cleaned. Files sorted. Documents translated. Cats trained. New lands discovered. Codes broken. Fields ploughed. Information Acquired. Accounts audited. Virgins deflowered. Specimens catalogued. Ledgers verified. Alligators tamed. Spies interrogated. Escapees tracked and captured. Garments altered. Pictures hung. Available for mutinies, hangings, insurrections, rallies, get-togethers, hootenannies, and hoedowns. Guy Friday. Jack-of-all-trades. Crewmember. Henchman. Minion. Functionary. Overseer. Executive Assitant. Counterperson. Manager. Supervisor. Clerk. At your service! I am available for hire and able to start immediately. Serious enquires only.

Salary negotiable.


No animals were hurt or injured in the production of this want ad.