Life Happens, Sometimes...

The long and short of the meeting today was that I am no longer employed...

The sort of cheesy part is that they offered me straight Saturdays...
Just Saturdays... for half-a-day...

What, I can't help but wonder, was the point of that, exactly? Was it meant to soften the blow in some creepily sideways logic sort of way?? I suspect that this whole issue was more or less manufactured as an escape strategy... which is fine. Though, I have to say that a simple, "Your position is being eliminated, you have two weeks to find another job..." would have been much more appreciated.. (did I say 'appreciated'? ... or 'something'). I felt like I needed to take a shower when I left out of there. Ig!

I am sort of split apart about how I feel about this whole thing... though for the most part I am simply accepting it with as much equanimity as possible, under the circumstance... not that I have all that much of a choice in the matter...

Part of me is glad to have been given the push so that I will find more suitable employment, hopefully where I can put both my intellect and my skills to good use... part of me feels as though I have been misused and cast aside like so much unwanted garbage... and part of me is simply worried about what the future brings...

... mostly though, it is simply what it is. I will find work. I have no other choice. Generally, life is the thing that happens while we are planning something else...

I cannot change the fact that both pleasures and pains will be a part of my experience... and I cannot change the fact that both will come and go. Wonderful, happy, times will pass... and this will cause me pain... but I have learned that when something beautiful or wonderful passes... something beautiful always remains...

When difficult situations come, I have to remember that they, too will pass... and in their wake, I will be stronger, more resilient, certainly tougher... and, perhaps, a little wiser...

Since I cannot change these things, all that is left for me to do is make my heart more accomodating to both of these extremes... because both are a part of my life. Both are a part of all of our lives.

Today there was some difficulty... but the sky was clear, and blue, and filled with shining white clouds! The weather was warm, and bright, and cheerful... and now I have a brand new canvas upon which to paint whatever the next chapter of my life will be...

... its all up to me.

Tommorrow, I will wake up, kiss my wife, enjoy a warm cup of coffee while I survey the morning that the world has seen fit to present to me... perhaps with a snuggly kitty in my lap....

I will do my usual daily mindfulness practice; that is, practicing how to appreciate the simple uncomplicated moment of 'now'.

I will greet the sun, and the day, and I will pray... like any other day.

And then?

Then I will take the first halting steps on the new road that has been laid out before me...

Whatever it is, and wherever it leads, it is part of my story.... and, like each of us must, I have to play my part.