Back on Track

Some time ago, I wrote a post in which I more or less snivelled and whined over how I was feeling bogged down, or out of touch with all of the important things in my life..

Specifically, I was disgusted with myself for letting myself get out of shape physically, for getting out of touch spiritually, creatively, and in other facets of my life. I had let the demands of job and chores and errands, and all of the other minutiae of life take over beyond their assigned areas of influence, and it was pushing me farther and farther into a corner of my own design that I had painted myself into.

Well, I am happy to say that I took the proverbial bull by the horns, and have managed to wrestle things back into their proper order ... well, it was more of a relaxed flow than a wrestling match... I'm not big on contention and scrapping, though I will do it when I have no other conceivable choice.. in this case, I simply leaned in the right direction and let the flow of events take me where I needed to be... it was more of a case of opening myself up to the right opportunities, and taking advantage of them, as opposed to a bull-headed, hard-charging lifestyle with blinders on.. as it turns out, this way is better.

Spiritually, I am very much back on track. A great deal of my time has been reclaimed and redirected towards this pursuit. This is much better for me, and, honestly, probably better for everyone else as well.

Physically, I am very much back on track! I am dropping the poundage, getting strong, seeing results, and feeling a thousand times better. I am finally getting over the initial acclimatization portion of our show, and I have stopped snapping folk's heads off.. which, on a 'good-bad' scale is decidedly good! (People need their heads, after all!)

I recognize that this will be a long haul, but, I am prepared to see it through! (Looking forward to it, actually! Rather than viewing my lifestyle as a chore, I have actually begun to see it as a much needed opportunity! This is great, as far as I am concerned. It bolsters my confidence, and keeps me motivated and enthusiastic. To me, this spells success, and reminds me that I have a very important goal that I must keep striving towards.. which is precisely what I need to be doing.)

I actually feel rewarded when I do what I know is right, rather than feeling rewarded when I stuff my fat ass full of food.

I am eating less in a day than I was eating for a single meal, and I wasn't eating much more than just about everyone else that I know!

At least in this country, what we consider to be a 'portion' has become obscene. I am finding, much to my surprise, that I can get along... thrive, actually, on much, much less than I had ever imagined possible... I have gotten by on less in certain circumstances in the past... Ranger School, for instance.. but I viewed it almost as a punishment, or as some monolithic challenge that had to be overcome... instead, I see it as a normal course of events that is much better for me in the long run, and, honestly, much better for the environment, since I am leaving much smaller footprints in my wake.

This is just good no matter which way I look at it.

The surprising part, is that by taking less and using less in one area (food), I have begun to take a serious look at my consumption in every other area, and have taken steps to minimize my impact in those areas.

I am only one person, and I don't know how much of a difference I can realistically make to the world, but, whatever small difference it is... it is a difference!

Think about this; If everyone picked up one piece of litter each day, how much of a difference would that make in the long run, I wonder? In ten years, if I do this by myself, I would have picked up almost 400 pieces of crap that would otherwise still be lying there! If 999 other people, in all of the world, did the same thing that I was doing, we would have collectively picked up 3650000 articles of unsightly garbage that would have been offending everybody over the course of ten years. Can I make anybody do this? No. But I can do it myself, and that is what I am doing, and will be doing, for as long as I am able to. When I see somebody empty their trash out of the car window onto the roadway, or toss a piece of garbage onto the ground, I wonder if they would empty the kitchen trash onto their mother's head with so little thought? Just a rant, sorry.. but, no earth, no water, no air,... no life. We only have one world. Herendeth the sermon. My apologies.

Ahem... (mental shift.. back to the original topic)

To get back to the weight control issue, (I was off on a tangent there.. I'm letting my brain fly today, please try to bear with me...{Bear!! Ha!!}) in the past, I was seeing results for a while, but then bogging down and getting stuck in a rut when the results would inevitably taper off, and I couldn't figure out why this was happening (you have to decrease your intake as you lose weight, folks, or you will stop losing! I would get settled into a routine, and, naturally, it would work for a while, but, as my bodyweight dropped, I needed less, but was, in fact, (relative to my body's needs) eating more, even though I hadn't changed my intake!), this is very important to know for any of you on the same path. You need less as you lighten up, so, be prepared for this, and you will see results all along! I was not prepared for this, I hadn't factored it in, and at some point, the weight loss would come to a grinding halt, or, start creeping back up.. (!!!) (there is a concept called 'portion creep' that comes into play where you unnoticeably dish out tiny amounts more until you are eating way more food than you are even aware of.. this is bad!) As you can imagine, I would get discouraged, and the whole plan would go into the bin.

The heart was there, but the knowledge was not (at least not the practical knowledge. I understood what the components were, but I had no benchmark against which to test what I knew and adjust it accordingly. I am confident that we have nailed it this time, and we are on our way!). This is extremely important, because I very much need to stay fit if for no other reason to be able to stay healthy and keep up with a very busy, stressful, and hectic schedule.

More importantly, though.. I am not getting any younger, and I am starting to reach an age where I need to either get fit and stay fit, or I may not be able to get fit at all. So, I am doing it, and I'm happy about it!

Just to throw out one small overconfident boast; I have lost just about 20 pounds so far! This will fluctuate, I'm sure, and the real number is probably closer to 15 or 16 pounds, but, I'll take it! It's a damned good start. Our plan is well-tuned, finally, and we are drivin' on!!

At work, the fly has kept his hands and comments to himself since, in his words, (or, more accurately, to paraphrase) I 'Stopped his heart'. He has taken to threaten other people with me. This is strange, but, since it is in essence insubstantial, and everybody knows it, I'll take it.

Basically, he gets into jibe contests with others, and at some point asks them if they have 'the corns' (his term, not mine.. he means 'balls') to try whatever they are threatening him with, on me.

Or he will challenge them to try whatever they are telling him they will do to him (this is all joking and semi-playful antagonizing.. none of it is serious.. just to clear that up. He isn't picking real fights.. the guys are constantly threatening to kick each other's asses. Its a guy thing... or something..) in front of me.. as though he is confident that I will jump right in and go to his aid to the detriment of anybody else. I'm not sure what that is about, but, as long as I'm not getting yanked into anything physical, I don't really care what he does. The bottom line? Things are much better at work. I go to work, I do my job, I go home, I get paid, I'm happy. Done deal.

In the continuing education department, the courses that I had planned on studying anyway happen to match just about exactly with the curriculum of the course that I am taking as a member of my religious order. The course is writing-intensive, and they don't really accept any B.S., so I have to do a great deal of work to get my ducks in order before I turn in an assignment. Also, I am somewhat time-pressured, as I would be in any college course, because the assigments have to be turned in by a certain date. They are graded by others, and all in all, this is fantastic. I am learning a great deal, and, the hard work notwithstanding, I love it. (I don't love it so very much when I have a day to get a paper done, and I have work, and gym, and a bunch of other stuff going on, and I need sleep... but, I do still love it, even then!)

I am only in the very basic portion of the curriculum at this point. Once I complete this initial introductory course, I will continue on into the curriculum proper, which consists of a number of different 'colleges', each of which are broken down into three phases. Each phase is successively more difficult, and asks more of the student, in demonstrated knowledge, in ability, and in course-load. I infer that the knowledge and ability that is gained from each successive level will prepare me sufficiently to be able to handle the added workload that is expected in the following level in a satisfactory manner... at least, theoretically. This learning process will take years, so I have a great deal of work ahead of me, but the good news is that I also have a great deal of learning ahead of me.

In addition to all of this, I am still studying Gaeilge, and have not been keeping up with the coursework to my satisfaction (or to anyone else's..for that matter), and have buckled down quite a bit so that I can catch up. The language studies are also a part of the main coursework, so, I am helping myself in the long run by staying with the program and keeping my work up to par. Its the very least I can do, as the teachers at the Gaeilge School volunteer their time to do this... from a purely courteous standpoint, the least that could be expected of me is to come to class prepared to move on.. They are doing their part, and I had better damned well do mine.. its only fair! so, this is my main focus, as far as my studies are concerned.

All of the stuff that I outlined above is having a beneficial effect on every other part of my life, and this is good!

So. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

That's all for now. I have schoolwork to do, so I'm off like a dirty girl's underpants! SeeYaBye!