"Let's ask Bear, he'll know if anybody does..."
This statement intrudes on my thoughts, ripping me out of whatever daydream or reverie I had been immersed in back to the present...
It was the voice of the yard foreman... I looked towards the sound of the commotion, and about ten of the yard guys and drivers were clustered around the daily delivery driver's sign out log, where the drivers routinely logged their deliveries prior to departure.
"Bear, c'mere a second!"
I walked over, mildy (very mildly) curious about what was transpiring.
One of the drivers asked, "How do you spell Wednesday??"
Bear: "W-"..
Driver 1: "Its W-E-N-S-D-A-Y, right!?!"
Foreman: "No, Jackass!! Its W-E-N-D-S-D-A-Y !!"
A huge argument ensued, I stood there, watching as the cacophony of screaming voices, epithets, threats and catcalls growing louder and louder, punctuated by the odd shove or slap up the backside of somebody's head, I decided that it was pointless for me to remain there, and decided to go back to whatever it was that I was doing. As I turned to head back to my work station, everybody went silent.
Driver 2: "How do you spell it, Bear??"
Bear: "Well, its spelled W-E-D-N-E-S-D-A-Y."
Group: "What!","What the fuck is that!?!", "There ain't no D in Wenzday!!", "Moron!", "Jackass!", "Bear, you stupid motherfucker!! I thought you could SPELL!!!", "That spells WED-NESS-DAY, dipshit!"
[Deep breath...]
Bear: "Would you like to know why its spelled that way?? I can explain it, if you'd like."
Foreman: "Yeah, tell us, snapperhead... we wanna know!"
Bear: "The days were named after the old gods, celestial bodies, and other stuff. Sunday is, obviously SUN-day, Monday is MOON-day, Tuesday is named after Mars, the god of war, and Wednesday is WODIN's-Day, or WEDENS-DAY, which has become WEDNES-Day... Wodin's Day!! - W-E-D-N-E-S-D-A-Y!"
They were all silent and thoughtful about this as they mulled it over, then;
"That's a crock of shit! Fuckin' Wodin's Day! GET the fuck outta here with that bullshit!!", "Where'd ya pick that up, a fuckin' book??", "Wodin my ass!", "Dickhead!", "Whattya think we're fuckin' stupid??", "Jackass!".
Bear: "Well... if you look at any calendar, you will see that that's how they spell it. Don't take my word for it, look it up yourselves..."
I went back to my work, and seconds became minutes, minutes became hours, and the day wore on....
The old man wandered over to where I was and said, "Wodin's Day, huh??" (Obviously, he had heard the scuttlebut about the whole Wednesday thing...).
Bear: "Yeah..."
Old Man: "Ya know, I thought you were smart enough to know better than to go around spelling something wrong just because they got it wrong on a calendar... So I guess you ain't so smart after all, eh jackass!! You're just like that freak in "Alice in Wonderland; the Tin Man..... 'If I only had a brain'!! Moron!! I got more brains in my little finger than you got in that thick head of yours!"
Bear: "..... I guess you're right, Old Man."
Tin Man? Alice in Wonderland? Holy shit....
I guess it all depends on what piece of ground you happen to be standing on, or what crowd you happen to be a part of that determines just how smart or stupid you are at any given moment....
...At least it was actually Wednesday.... or was it Wendzday??
6 comments:
Brilliant ..and if you want to print something out for the "duh-squad" here's a nice link http://www.answers.com/wednesday?gwp=11
Stupid people are like black holes: even if you say something brilliant near them it will simply fade into darkness and oblivion.
Hi Guys/Gals,
Thanx for taking the time to leave me your comments!! (I love hearing from all of you who stop by to read my blog! It never ceases to amaze me that that you take the time to stop by and actually read the stuff that I write, but, to be honest, it pleases me immensely that you do!)
With reference to your comments, these guys are manual laborers, and book-schooling was never the main focus for them. They work their asses off, in all kinds of weather, whether they are feeling well, whether they are injured, sick, tired, or what-have-you.
They are essentially good guys, but their interests tend to veer sharply from where my interests lie... as it turns out, they seem to view me as being a bit strange (I have to concede that they are dead-on on that score!). They are often surprised at the fact that I possess knowledge about subjects that they may have never known or imagined even existed, and at times, their attitudes towards me will range from complete disdain and dismissal to a sort of reverent awe, as though I am some sort of wizard with the power to transmogrify them into a snail or something... either end of that continuum tends to be somewhat uncomfortable for me, for obviously differing reasons. (My preference is to simply be treated as 'one of the guys', but, sadly, it doesn't usually work out that way...).
I am the guy that they come to to settle bets, arguments, to answer questions, to seek advice from, and to dump feelings on. It isn't a terrible position to be in, but I sense that a misplaced comment could sting some of them deeply and ruin a friendship or acquaintanceship.
In any case, I have an aversion to causing anyone to lose face unless they absolutely push me into it and give me no option but to lose face publicly and humiliatingly, or to be physically injured in someway... or in a position where some other living thing is placed in that unenviable position..
So... I usually refrain from exposing their faults, foibles, or misconceptions unless they ask me, and then I try to do it in the gentlest way that I can come up with.
They want it to be Wendzday, so, in that place at least, until further notice, the day between Twosday and Thirsday happens to be Wendzday.
Please, stop by again...
Take Care
Yeah, there are days as an IT Geek, that I don't understand how people can seem so dumb, then I try to think how I would be working in their area. What kind of questions or misunderstanding would there be if I tried to sell, market, or even produce the product. Sometimes it even works enough to for me to be more understanding. You know what you know and if it's enough for you to survive, good for you, and if you want to know more, even better.
Humble people who had never had the chance to learn are not stupid, just ignorant, and most of the time it's not even their fault. But people that get the chance to learn and still prefer to lurk in ignorance are simply stupid. The black holes I was referring belong to the second group. Amazingly the first group tends not only to learn whatever they can grasp but also to teach back important stuff at times.
Nothing that turns me on more then a guy who can work with his hands. Seriously, show me a guy using a chainsaw and chopping wood and I melt! The smell of the fresh cut wood and sound of the chain saw only add to the arousal factor. If that same guy can hold his end of a political conversation then I'm over the top.
It is a hard combination to come by but it does happen. I have worked in the construction field I have the utmost respect for those folks who use their brawn in addition to their brains.
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