Sunday, April 16, 2006
The Coin has Two Sides!
In some earlier posts, I had commented on how some people tend to seek me out in order to discuss some of the more difficult facets of their lives with me.
While I am happy to be able to be there, to help, to advise, to commiserate, or to simply listen, I must also admit that much of what these people tell me is often sad, or, in some cases, downright disturbing.
I had begun to wonder if anyone, anywhere, had anything uplifting to ever talk to me about... but not with much hope, judging by what I have been hearing over the past months and, come to think of it... years.
Lately though, it seems that a new trend has begun to show its face, and this makes me happy!
Perhaps its the optimism that the turning of the seasons from the dark, introspective months of winter to the bright, cheerful months of spring brings.. with its new life, regeneration, and high hopes for the season to come!
(Speaking of which... Happy Easter to my Christian readers... today is Easter Sunday. I received a telephone call on Friday from an in-law who called to wish me a happy "Whatever it is that you celebrate...." [SNORT!! HA!])
Back to my main point --> Lately, folks have been coming to me to sort of check back in with me about topics that we had previously talked about, and to deliver good news about their lives that have come to pass as a result... to me, this is fantastic stuff! Some samples;
"I quit drinking! Its been three months!"
"Something you said made me think. I guess I've been treating my wife kinda crappy. I bought her some flowers, and we sat down and talked... it was like when we first got together. I agreed to go to counselling with her. I think things are gonna work out for us... thanks for talkin' to me about it... it was a big help!"
"You were right about me being angry at myself and taking it out on other people.. you said that you forgave me for whatever it was that I was angry about... I thought that was stupid when you said it... and you told me that I should forgive myself, and if I couldn't, that I should make amends for whatever I did... well, I've been doing that. One of the people was my dad, but he's dead. I went and cleaned up around his grave. I sat and talked with him. I think he forgives me... Everyone else really seemed willing to forgive me, too... You're a pretty smart guy, man... you should, like, do this... ya know?"
"What you said about learning and knowledge... I talked with my folks about it.. and guess what?! They're gonna help me with paying for school. I'm gonna start next semester!"
"I learned something from you... when I first met you, I thought you were a pussy. I, like, had no respect, you know?? Then, that time when I tried to hit you.. you surprised me... you don't look like you got it in you! After that day, I started to pay attention to what you were saying. I still think you're an asshole, but, I think you got the right idea about a lot of things..."
"Hey.. just so you know... I went back and found them Mexicans...(I know you don't like when we call'em 'Mexicans' or whatever, but, whatever the fuck they are.. 'Spanish guys' or whatever...) Anyway.. I, um, went ahead and paid 'em what I owed 'em. You shoulda seen the look on their faces!! At first, I thought they were gonna jump me! When I said I was sorry for fuckin 'em over and handed them the money, they were like smilin' and slappin' each other on the back! It was pretty fuckin' cool! I felt really good, just like you said I would. You're fucked up, man... you're like, creepy about shit like that!! Where do you learn this stuff?? In the Army? I gotta tell ya, I was really pissed at you when you told me off.. you embarassed me. At first, I was gonna like meet up with you when you came out after work.. Dave told me I would get my ass kicked. I still don't think so, but, now that I did it the other way, I think it was the right thing to do. I generally don't like people telling me what I should be doin'.. But, you walk the walk, and I gotta respect that. What's right is what's right...right? Anyway.. I just wanted you to know that I made good...so, things are okay between you and me, right?"
"When I told my wife what you said, she busted out laughing! She was really surprised that you could tell what was eatin' at her, without being told! She was really surprised, and I just about shit! How do you know this stuff? What're you, one'a them psychotics (sic) or somethin'? She asked me to ask you if you were a woman in your past life... seriously, though... I never would have even thought of that... I was being a dick, and I didn't even realize it..."
This is great stuff... (well.. psychotic?! Erk!) and I have to admit that I like to receive a little validation now and again... for a while, it seemed that everyone's life was shit, and there wasn't a damned thing that I could do to help, other than to simply stand beside them while they cried.
For a change, I am seeing some returns that make me as though maybe I am accomplishing something...
Most of these people are not my friends.. they are acquaintances, customers, co-workers, or local folks that I only know by face, but who I see on an almost daily basis. Being me, I chat with people, (I talk with everybody) and sooner or later, they spill something that is bothering them... I feel that they wouldn't be doing this if they felt that they were able to fix these problems on their own, although I feel that they absolutely are capable of doing so.. I don't think that they know or believe that they can.. and that can be a problem. So.. if they open themselves up to me, and ask for help, either explicitly or implicitly, I feel a responsibility to do my best and offer what I can.. I can only draw on my own strengths, and I let them know this.. I'm not a trained counsellor, but I have walked in many of their shoes at some point in my life.. so, I suppose experience is as good of a teacher as schooling is in some instances. At any rate, much of my mind's energy is just about always turned towards topics of a spritual bent... I guess I am a shithouse philosopher of sorts... but, it would seem that it has its uses.
I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing by trying to help, but, in a few cases, it seems that I have. I get one gold star to hang up on the refrigerator!
So long as I'm not causing more harm by offering my thoughts and suggestions, I suppose I'm doing the right thing.
Yesterday was a fantastic day! we worked out in the garden, with warm sunshine on our skin and the smell of plants and dirt in our noses!
We planted five boxwood shrubs, naming them 'Huey, Dewey, Louie, Stewey, and Gooey'!
They're fine bragh wee shrubbies, and they look wonderful in their new spot! I hope they will grow tall and strong and healthy!
We also cut away a circle of grass from around our Redbud treeling.. fed it some plant food, and put down a circle of mulch to keep it warm and happy!
Elysia planted two new Azaleas in the garden, and named them both, collectively, 'Howard' (don't ask..)
Everything is waking up, and growing, and blossoming, and letting us know that this place loves us as much as we love it!!
We started our day yesterday with a trip to the gym, where we busted our butts, and worked up a good sweat. The rest of the day I enjoyed that yummy feeling of slight but nice muscle soreness... it lets me know that my body is getting stronger by the day!
Today, we are listening to music... earlier, we listened to a brand new CD that we bought; 'Türkülü Yürekler 5' this is a group of three musicians.. fantastic, talented musicians, named Metin Karataş, Emre Saltuk and Lafer Gündoğdu. All three play bouzoukis and sing. The songs are all in the Turkish language, but, honestly folks.. you do not have to be Turkish or speak Turkish to appreciate these guys. They are amazing! I know that most people do not share my taste in music, or, for that matter, in many other things... I'm an odd duck.. or, at least, that is what I am always being told. But, I think it would be worth a try to listen to this at least once. Music is a bridge.. it comes from someplace deep down inside that trancends language, nationality, ethnicity, or any of the other false boundaries that separate us from one another... the ancient Celts believed that people who were inspired to compose music, write poetry, create works of art, or show other talents that most people did not share, had these talents as a result of having passed through multiple lifetimes.. not necessarily human lifetimes.. but many, many lives in this world and in the otherworld. They believed that the soul, or whatever one conceives of the eternal self as being, retained the wisdom that it gained from having lived each iteration of a life, even though it may not have retained memories of that life. One result of that wisdom was the muse or inspiration that musicians, poets, and artists appeared to draw from.. The Welsh believe that sometimes the soul does retain memories of things from past lives.. the Cymreag (Welsh) word for this is 'Hiraeth' or 'Soul Longing'. If you have ever had an affinity, a connection, or a longing for something, someone, or someplace that you have never known in this life, it is believed that your soul remembers some contact from a previous life.. this is what is meant by a 'Hiraeth'. Anyway, if you want your ears to be happy, listen to these guys do what they do.. you won't regret it, I promise!
Right now, we are listening to our regularly scheduled Sunday morning programming; 'Sunday Baroque' on NPR.
The weather outside is sunny and beautiful, with cool breezes rustling the curtains.. I can hear the wind chimes singing, along with the birds!
I think I'll head out there, breathe some fresh air, and feel the grass under my feet for a bit.