Some days just simply blow chunks... and for me, at least... today was one of those days. As it seems to happen with days that particularly suck, there were a few high points, but, in retrospect, those high points only seemed to remind me just how crappy the day was going.
It was just one of those days when it seemed that *everyone* was on me about something... and most of them were right... there are times when people get on your case, and they are being unfair, or they don't know what they are talking about, or they are just plain assholes... and, in those cases, I basically just blow them off... there are other times, however, when they are right.. and today, as the hours wore on, I got a bigger and clearer picture of just how much I truly suck.
... So what do you do with that? Basically, my soul feels like sludge... on top of everything, I had one vicious bastard of a headache all day that three Tylenol wouldn't make a dent in, and the computers at work are totally fucked after the installation of a new server-based network in the office - so now nobody can do their job until we get all of the kinks worked out, but we are more or less getting crapped on about it even though it isn't any body's fault..
My boss spent an hour pressuring the shit out of me over something that I have essentially no control over.. then he sent me on an errand to do something, and, even though everything regarding the issue was screwed up on his end, I am the one who gets puked on when it doesn't work out...
My co-worker, who is in the same situation as I am regarding pay came to work almost in tears; she figured out her taxes over the weekend, and owes thousands of dollars that she can't pay... so, since I am in a very similar category, I am shitting pickles over that...
I found a photo online of a relative who has been lost to me for some years now... but, due to circumstances beyond my control, I will most likely never see her again... and that makes me very sad.
I basically just want to crawl into a hole and pull it in after me... but, that solves nothing...
There are things that I can do... but, at a basic level, nothing really changes... it is what it is, and when it sucks I simply have to deal with it... I have no choice, I guess...
.. so that's today.
yay
2 comments:
I am sorry I was part of the problem and not part of the solution.
Please forgive me.
M
Bear,
This just doesn't sound like you. I've never "read" you so down before. Look at what you have in a positive light. People care about you. It looks like Macheline is sorry about whatever happened. Give tomorrow another chance.
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