At Last...

At work, they file things.

Well.... they call it that.

To my mind, what they actually have been doing was to stuff various documents into folders in no particular order at all!

If somebody went looking for a folder, and was unable to find it NO PROBLEM!!
All you have to do is simply make a new folder!! See how simple that is??!

Why, you could end up with perhaps eight or fifteen folders with the same account name on it... and they could be spread out all over the place! It was quite the adventure!

As for where these items were placed, as a rule?? Well.... anyplace was fine! Once place was just as good as another!!

You must, by now, be starting to opine that there must be some dodgy bits to this system, for instance, when one needs to find a particular document one would think that one may be faced with some degree of difficulty. I can testify that, in fact, one was often faced with an insurmountable problem, to say the least!!

In more common terms, the file system (I use the term 'system' in the loosest possible sense, because, in all honesty, no system,... WHATSOVER... existed!!

This often impacted upon me, because when a client would call or fax over a list of perhaps twenty five, forty, or seventy invoices... guess who would be directed to find them and fax or mail copies back to the client... while still expected to handle an extremely high call volume, assist customers, and do all of the other odds and end that comprise the daily routine?? (If you guessed 'pushover jackass' you would be correct!)

Well... after contending with this vicious, vexating, miserable fucking situation for close to two years, I eventually snapped and let everyone have it, basically planting my feet, folding my arms, the epitome of the braw "Heelan' Laddie... fearing naught and stubborn as rocks!!"

Back in August or September, I had a meltdown over the friggin' file system, and bloody-well demanded that I would be given both the permission and the wherewithal to redo the entire file system... from the ground up. I basically refused to move or do anything else until they; a.) Acknowledged and validated my feelings about the current state of affairs. b.) Accepted the solution that I was offering, or, failing that, came up with a better one that was workable. And, c.) Allowed me to order the supplies that I needed to get the job done and promised not to climb all over me whenever I tried to take a wee while to work on the new system.

They pretty much realized right away that I wasn't budging on a single fucking detail, and that what I proposed would benefit all of us. It would make us more efficient, reduce salaried time spent on fruitless file searches, and make our lives somewhat easier. In short, it made good business sense. The job isn't over until the paperwork is done, and maintaining and storing records in a sensible and well-maintained fashion is just part of doing a proper job!

I received my supplies sometime in October, and after threatening to choke somebody's eyeballs out of their head if they refused to comply, got the lads to build me a lockable supply closet in what had been an alcove. So this afforded me the opportunity to keep some degree of control on office supplies, which were flying out the door and causing the business to hemhorrage money.... It also allowed me to segregate supplies that were earmarked for future projects (such as the new file system!).

I first sat down and compiled a list of every single account. There are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of them, by the way... I created a database, and was able to identify duplicate accounts and dead accounts by cross-referencing telephone numbers, addresses, and account activity. This enabled me to eliminate the duplicates, which made the job a wee bit more manageable.

I then started to produce labels for the files. After discussing the project at length with the staff, it was agreed that the filing system should mimic the account names, in that everything would be filed exactly the way the name showed on the account summary. For instance, if the account showed John Doe, it would be filed under 'J'. If it showed Doe, John, however, it would be filed under 'D'. It was weird and sort of disorganized, but that was what The Nose, The Fly, and The Old Man wanted... so I set to work.

When I was approximately three-quarters of the way done (say... five hundred labels), the owner showed up and overrode everyone's wants and wishes and decided that he wanted names to be last name, first name, middle initial. Period. Company names would be as is, but personal names would be last name first. Back to square one!!

I started working on the actual files just over a week ago. The first day, I was able to complete sixty-five. As the days chugged along, I was able to increase my speed to about eighty-five in a day (don't forget, I still have to handle my regular workload... and it has been fairly busy!).

Over this past weekend, it occured to me that I wouldn't have any time at all to get this done when I returned from vacation! I had to get this done before I left!! Talk about time pressure!!

Well. I went in there today like a man on a mission and got the damned job finished!! COM-PLETE-LY!!

I am pretty darned proud of myself! I worked like a lunatic, but I got it done!!

I wish you could have seen the looks on everybody's faces when I let them in on a little secret;


.... The alphabet actually has a pre-determined order!!


Wow! What a friggin' concept, huh??!! We might even be able to find some of this stuff after we file it!!


I don't think they had the slightest idea what I was talking about when I said I wanted to re-design the filing system. As a matter of fact... I have some doubts that they had any idea what I meant by the term 'filing system'.

I suspect that they simply intuited that I was on about something, that it didn't much impact on them all that much to let me have at it, whatever the hell it was... and that the worse thing about it was that I may be occupied with something that they saw no immediate function or benefit for... but that it would only last for about a week or two. So they let me do what I thought was best and let me be.

When they saw the new file folders, in order, neatly labeled, in a sensible and easily understandable fashion (Intuitive, even!), they almost shit!

NOW they get it!! Everyone was pretty much thrilled!! They can see how this is a good thing for everyone, and they were all very happy about it.

I'm happy too!!

Imagine that??? Being happy about something so completely idiotic and mundane as a flippin' filing system??

Holy Sheep-shit, am I strange, or what!!