Back on Track

I had big plans to get back to work all motivated and rarin' to go after my day off. As it turns out, I started feeling pretty shitty again last night; the room was swimming, and the bed was spinning, and my head was splitting. I woke up with the alarm, and just about puked when I tried to sit up. I picked up the phone instead, called in, and decided not to try to walk the five steps to the bathroom in order to pee because I just *knew* that if I stood up it was all over...

I went back to sleep and slept another five hours, straight through and woke up with a headache and body-wide 'baby grip' but feeling better than I had, otherwise, in days.

I had a cup of coffee, watched a 'Nova' episode about Sir Isaac Newton's Dark Secrets, and came up to check email and perhaps blog a bit. That was at about 1:30PM. The next thing I knew, I snapped awake in my computer chair at 4:30PM and got up feeling fine! I jumped in the shower, shaved my face, and am actually feeling better than I have in recent memory. I'm ready to get back into the thick of things tommorrow morning, and, hopefully, with a better attitude.

On Friday, some shitbird stole my calculator. It's a cheap-ass $8.00 calculator, but it's mine - I spent my own money to purchase the damned thing, and it was at my workstation where anyone with a fucking brain cell would be able to deduce that it wasn't set out there for the taking. It had my name written on it in magic marker, and on the back in whiteout. It isn't about the friggin' eight bucks, now, it's the principle that really burns my ass!! I posted about this in a post entitled Boundaries back in May. It absolutely infuriates me that these FUCKS feel that they have the right to simply take whatever they so desire because they need it and therefore feel entitled to take something, regardless of who owns it!! What the FUCK is that???!! I know damned well that whoever took the fucking calculator knew that it was mine, and they simply didn't care. I don't matter. I have no priority whatsoever, and am therefore not entitled to the minimum of common courtesy. The saddest part of this, is that if I had seen the person actually taking something that belongs to me and made an issue out of it, the management would have either disciplined me on the spot, or would have directed me to simply let the customer have the item (which, you had better know, would absolutely NOT happen. Which, I am sure, would create a huge stramash, but I don't fucking care!)

In any case, there isn't much that I can do about it, apparently, other than to hawk my belongings, and/or keep them on my person at all times. This is something that should be simply a minor annoyance, but I must admit that it is vexing the living shit out of me. If I should catch someone taking my shit, I am most likely not going to be very amicable about it. I suppose it's better that I didn't, because knocking the living shit out of a customer can't do much for either your annual raise, or your holiday bonus, I would imagine...

In other news, I have begun picking up the pipes and practicing once again. I'm horrified by how much my skills have deteriorated, but I don't suppose I should have expected anything else. You practice, or you lose it. That's the way it works.

I have a Bagpipe job on December 4th, and I had better damned well be proficient enough to play the job by then or I'm going to look a right fine eejit!

I guess the pressure's on....

I am playing with the idea of getting up an hour earlier each morning so that I can either stretch on my own, or do Yoga with Elysia. The lazy part of me wants to sleep. The warrior part wants to train. The thing is that I want time with her, so I stay up later than I should; not wanting the day to come to an end. Which means that I am much too tired to drag my sorry ass out of bed in the morning. It would stand to reason that if I just caved in and went to bed at an earlier hour, got a decent night's sleep, and got up to train, that is still time spent, and, honestly, probably better spent training and doing something constructive than sitting on my fat ass in front of the tube letting my brain turn into oatmeal.

I guess I know what the correct decision is... it's just a matter of actually putting it in to practice.

Of late, it seems that I have allowed my schedule to become this all-inclusive crutch that I lean on that somehow gives me leave to let everything else go and fall apart. This is majorly fucked up and needs to be attended to. I think it all boils down to the proper mental attitude... and my attitude hasn't honestly been all that great.

This enforced rest has done wonders for me. I am ready to start working on whatever needs to get done.

I cannot (CAN NOT!) believe that the holidays are upon us already!! I almost drove off the road the first day I noticed the holiday decorations up on the lamp poles in our village! It seems like I was just putting that stuff away, did a few things, and here it is time to drag 'em out again!!

This isn't a bad thing in the sense that I dislike the holidays or anything... quite to the contrary.. I LOVE the holidays!! But I feel as though my life is flying past at breakneck speed, and I'm afraid that I'll wake up and find that I'm 87 years old, and have no idea where the time went... sigh.

Nothing to be done about it, other than to simply try to immerse myself in the moment and enjoy my life, ay??

I think I will build a shrine to coffee so that I can worship it properly.

While I am aware that it is not good for me... I must also concede that if I don't drink coffee, it may very well be unsafe for others... so; being the type of guy that I am, I must make this difficult sacrifice in order to protect the safety of others, even to the detriment of my own health!

... Yeah!! That's it!!